Bucket Lists

Everyone has one.  A bucket list, that is.  It doesn't matter how young or old you are, everyone has at least one thing they want to do before they kick the proverbial "bucket."

I, on the other hand, have several items on this list.  Too many to include in this post.  But this morning at breakfast, I started to ponder why, exactly, do we have this list?  Especially when we include things that are probably never going to happen. 

Well, I'll tell you why.  We all have a bucket list because it give us a sense of hope inside.  It gives us dreams to hold on to.  It can allow us to detach from our day to day activities and go and do something else, even if it's imaginary.  I sort of look at a bucket list like this: a bucket list is comprised of several "go-to" daydreams, dreams that, even if it's just for a second, allow you to experience that wonderous feeling of whimsy that makes you get a gooberish smile on your face and let out a meaningful little sigh. 

I assume that a lot of people have certain things on their bucket lists that are not on mine. 

For example: skydiving. 

I think in my entire lifetime, I have only talked to a handful of people that did not want to go skydiving.  I am one of these people.  I think the idea of jumping out of a perfectly good airplane sounds altogether ridiculous. 

Mind you, I am deathly afraid of heights so the thought of being on the top rung of a ladder or on our roof to watch fireworks on the 4th of July, is simply terrifying to me. 

I'll give you another example of this fear.  When my husband took me to The Beaumont Cherry Festival this year, I got a wild hair and decided I would be utterly daring, daring in the sense that I would ride the Ferris Wheel with my beloved husband.  Uh huh.  Big mistake.  Let me tell you, that was the most terrifying, like, ten minutes of my young adult life.  (Meanwhile, my husband was laughing hysterically, of course.)

Why do people get a thrill for those things? 

They just don't seem safe at all. 

So clearly, a daredevil I am not, therefore extreme sports or just dangerous activities in general are not what you will find on this girl's bucket list. 

Some of the things you will find on my bucket list...

1.  Travel to Chenay Bay, St. Croix, U.S. Virgin Islands

There are actually probably at least half a dozen places on my bucket list that I would like to see before I die, but if you read my last blog, you know that this place is literally my namesake.  That being said, I have never been there except in utero.  So, I think it is only natural that St. Croix would be, by far, the most meaningful place for me to travel.

Mom and the Captain of the Katamaran that
took her and my Dad to Buck Island from St. Croix to snorkel
for the day.

One thing I failed to mention in my last post.  Every time my mother went snorkeling in Chenay Bay, she would free dive for little shells on the ocean floor.  She put them all in a very simple glass jar that used to sit in my bathroom growing up, and when I moved out of the house she gave me the jar where it found a new home on my bar. 

Unfortunately, earlier this year there was, let's just say, a little accident, and the jar ended up broken with shells scattered everywhere on my kitchen floor admist three (obviously, also broken) bottles of red wine.  My husband and I managed to save all of them, even the coral that mom had brought to the surface all those years ago, but now I am trying to find the perfect jar for them to once again have a forever home. 

I think, perhaps, this small, unfortunate event has made my desire to travel to St. Croix and the Bay that bears my name (or maybe that should be vice versa) even deeper. 

2. Ride in A Hot Air Balloon

I know what you're thinking.  You're thinking: "Wait a second.  Didn't you just say you have an irrational fear of heights?"  Yes, I did say that.  And yes, I realize that this item on my bucket list seems quite counter-intuitive.  But let me explain a little further.

When I was really little, I'm talking like maybe three or four, my parents took me to a hot air balloon show.  I don't remember where it was or anything like that, but I do remember being fascinated by the balloons.  I specifically remember a pair of balloons: one was a cartoonish woman, and the other was her male mate.  I thought that was super cool for some reason.  Ever since then, my father, mother, and myself all have this particular item on our respective bucket lists. 

There is only one small problem with this.  I am, as we all know, incredibly terrified of heights.  Therefore, I don't want what I consider to be an amazing experience to be marred by my inability to relax and enjoy the ride.  I don't want to be "that girl" screaming to the pilot to "TAKE ME DOWN!" while grasping onto the basket with a death grip.  And yes, I have gone through this scenario in my brain over and over again. 

So, this may be one of those items on my list that never actually happens.  But there is a part of me that thinks it would be super cool if it did. 

3. Become a Mom



My Grandma, Mom, and me when I was born

 There is some small part of me that honestly thought this item would be crossed off my list by now.  But before you go all crazy on me and start thinking: "Such a shame.  She can't get pregnant," please be fully aware that my husband and I have NEVER tried to get pregnant.  In fact, we have taken steps to prevent it from happening.

The fact remains, that I honestly believe with every fiber of my being, that in order to be a good parent, you have to want to be one.  That is, you have to be ready.  And don't go giving me this whole thing about: "You'll never be ready," because I really think that is a crock of poo poo.  I realize that you can never be fully prepared for how that little bundle of joy will change your life on every single level (emotionally, financially, socially, and for women, physically) but I do think that you can make a conscious decision of: "We're as ready as we're ever going to be."

And frankly folks, Jeff and I simply aren't there yet.  We have talked at extensive length about it and we want to become parents, we really do.  But we are still a little too selfish, working on our careers and becoming homeowners, so we don't feel like right now is the right time to bring our child into the world.  But we see how much joy our family members and friends get from their lil' tykes (by the way, congratulations to our dear friends, Ryan and Kim, on the arrival of Rory Ellen, who was born this morning at 3:30 a.m.) and we do look forward to the day when that will be us. 

At least I know, God willing, that one day, I actually can cross this one off my list.

4.  Win a World Championship

Unless you ride (or have ridden) horses competively at the national level, this one may be hard for a lot of you to understand. 

But to me, this item on my bucket list is a BIG deal. 

Growing up, while all my friends played soccer or softball, I was busy taking riding lessons and training to compete in a variety of different events.  I started out when I was six, riding Hunter/Jumper ponies, but by the time I was nine, I had discovered the American Paint Horse, and truly found my passion.

I have had the privledge of owning and riding a number of great horses, and my gelding Snickers will always be the love of my life (he died August 17, 2009 after spending all sixteen of his fabulous years with me).  But one thing has always eluded me.  An APHA (American Paint Horse Association) World Championship.

Now, don't get me wrong, I did experience some great success as a Youth rider. 

Snickers and me

Aboard Snickers, I landed on the 1998 AJPHA Top Twenty in 11th place after only attending 8 shows and showing to exactly 20 judges (most teams that end up on this list show at FAR MORE shows and under MANY MORE judges than that) and in 1999 we were 9th in 14-18 Hunt Seat Equitation at World Show. 



Bambi and me


On another horse, Bambi, I came home from the 1998 World Show with Five Top Tens and came very close to buckling in the Western Riding.  Not bad for a team that was only together for 30 days before attending the biggest show of the year. 

But alas, when I was forced to stop showing in 2000, I did so without having buckled at World Show (a.ka. winning a World Championship).

Now, I'm married, don't have a show horse, and don't have the financial capability to see this happen in the near future. (Showing horses the way I did literally requires $25,000+ a year.)  But before I'm an old woman, I want to get back out there as an Amateur.  I want that buckle.  I want that title.

5. Write a Best-Selling Novel

Oh, the ever obvious one.  Hell, I even mention this in the "About Me" section of my blog's profile. 

But, I'm dead serious. (no pun intended)

I can't tell you how many times I have sat down and started a manuscript, only for ten pages into it I decide it is a big hunk of crap and delete the entire file.  (Writers are highly self critical.)

And as of right now, I have no such manuscript to even speak of.  I do, however, have about three ideas for a novel that I am really interested in tackling, but time and the ever-present need of a more consistent paycheck and household chores have really prevented me from sitting down to try and start my book.

But let's say I did have the book written and sent it to a publishing house that picked it up. 

Here is what my "dream" would look like:  I would get a call from the publishing house from some super excited editor telling me that I was simply genius and they were going to start with a small print of 10,000 copies.  Those 10,000 would sell in literally 24 hours and people would be clamoring all over the publishing house to print more.  So, they print another 10,000.  Then 25,000.  Then 50,000.  Bottom line-- in a very small period of time my novel has amassed over 1 million copies sold.  I'm doing book signings.  I'm on the Today Show.  And Ellen.  And if Oprah still had a book club, hell, my book would be the next book she picked.

I will have proverbially: MADE IT.

***



In closing, my hope is that you will think a little harder about your own bucket list. 

As I said before, I have many more items on mine, but this (I hope) gives a little insight into what I personally believe a bucket list to be.  It's not all about going places or doing crazy things.  It's about living life to the fullest and wanting to fulfill ALL your dreams.

Until next time...